Why is everyone lying about their babies sleep?

I'm back to make another bold statement. Everyone has lied about their babies sleeping at some point. While a few parents might share the truth, many of us (myself included) have found ourselves dodging questions to avoid detailing our reality.

When I had my newborn, nobody asked if my baby was a good sleeper. We all know that the first few months are notoriously sleepless. But as the three-month mark approached, everyone, including strangers, started asking about our sleep. As things took a turn for the worse, I began to lie. Why? Because honesty I felt embarrassed. It seemed like everyone else had it together by then, while I was struggling with multiple nightly wakes and the need to rock or feed my baby to sleep well past the six month mark.

It turns out that the only parents who openly discuss their children’s sleep are those who have successfully sleep-trained their kids or those whose babies naturally sleep well. The rest of us are left to navigate this challenge in isolation, often feeling judged or pressured by unsolicited advice.

I’ve witnessed this dynamic firsthand. Mothers telling each other their babies sleep through the night, even as they confide in me about frequent wake-ups. Others who have attempted sleep training presenting a facade of success while secretly retraining over and over due to regressions, illnesses, or other daily disturbances.

Can we all just agree that children’s sleep is rarely perfect? Research indicates that it’s normal for kids to wake every 2-3 hours during their early years. Yet, the baby sleep industry often pressures us to "fix" this so-called sleep crisis. But that’s a topic for another post.

These days, I prefer to keep sleep talk to a minimum. I usually say, "No, she doesn’t sleep well, but that’s just how it is." Sometimes this is met with advice I’ve either already tried or that contradicts current research and my ethos. Other times, I see a sigh of relief from other parents who are struggling with similar sleepless nights and have been thinking they are alone.

Let's embrace the truth: sleepless nights are a normal part of parenting, and it’s okay to admit it. We’re all in this together.

Rest easy,

Lisa x