In the Light of Hindsight

A couple of weeks ago, during my daughter’s swimming lessons, a toddler, a little friend we had made across the year, was in the throes of a meltdown. He was hysterically crying, refusing to swim that day, despite having enjoyed it for weeks. His mother, bewildered, had no idea what had triggered his sudden resistance. At that moment, it hit me—while the days of diapers and milk feeds may soon fade into memory, toddler tantrums are lurking just around the corner.

Now that I’m just over a year postpartum as a first-time mum, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that everything is a phase. Each stage brings new challenges, and as one fades, another inevitably takes its place. Every mom I’ve spoken to echoes this sentiment, but it’s hard to appreciate it until you’ve lived through each season. Then, suddenly, you find yourself basking in the light of hindsight.

Over the past year, I’ve learned to release my expectations and worries, focusing instead on supporting my daughter in the best ways I know how. Just last week, I wrapped up my breastfeeding journey, and I was pleasantly surprised by how smoothly the transition went. Reflecting on the early days, I remember my anxiety about weaning; I wish I could have reassured myself that everything would be okay. I worried about comfort feeding and how it might never end, about getting her to accept a bottle so I could have a break, and about the potential for nights filled with inconsolable tears during night weaning. In the end, none of that happened. Oh hindsight...

Looking back, I realised how much energy I wasted fearing the process. If I welcome a second child, I know now that it will all be fine—the contact naps, the lack of routine, the irregular feeds. Everything eventually falls into place, and what truly matters is raising your child in a happy, safe, and loving environment. Yet again, tell that to a new mum and it goes unheard. The flood of advice, societal expectations, and cultural norms can be overwhelming, drowning out the voice of maternal instinct.

Back at the pool the following week, I watched that same toddler, splashing around joyfully, as if nothing had happened. His mother and I glanced at each other and shrugged our shoulders. His is meltdown was just another fleeting moments in the grand journey of motherhood.

So, to all the new mums out there: trust yourself. Embrace the phases, let go of the worries, and know that in time, everything will be okay.

Rest easy,

Lisa x